What to wear?

I was getting the children dressed the other day, and it occurred to me that I may be thinking too much about what outfits to put them in. As I stood in front of their closet for a solid 10 minutes, I genuinely thought through the various pros and cons of different attire. Obviously I could go with a footie pajama look...classic. Maybe, go with a footless pajama it's a little more formal. Although, if we're gonna go formal we might as well go all out, cargo pants, button down shirt, and sweater vest.

Should they wear a onsie? Long sleeve or short sleeve? Long sleeve could be too hot...short sleeve could be too cold. Ok, back to jammies. Button down or zip-up? If I do go footless, they'll have to wear socks because their little feet get so cold.

I now wonder what in the world I am so concerned about? The kids aren't going anywhere, no one is going to see them. It's not like they are going to be at red carpet event later with some entertainment reporter asking them "Who are you wearing?"
"Well my onsie is by Carter's, I have a Baby Gap hoodie, Gymboree socks, Osh-Kosh overalls, and the hat is by Amy Coe.

Let's face it what they wear is more about me then it is about them. Judging by the way Emerson giggles and kicks his feet when he finally gets a wet diaper off, I'm pretty sure he would prefer no clothes at all. I'll be the first to admit that baby clothes are stinkin' cute, but a Gap onsie is an awfully expensive item to buy, considering all it really does is absorb spit-up.

Around the holidays Jami and I felt compelled to really dress the kids up. Zoey had a very cute dress on, and Emerson looked like a little mini-me with his vest and driver cap. We proceeded to pose them in an over-sized chair and even used a solid colored blanket as a Christmas backdrop, we had effectively turned my parents home into a proper Olan Mills Studio. After the pictures were taken, we immediately put bibs on the kids so they wouldn't ruin their outfits by doing something dastardly like drooling, throwing up, or any other behavior that is common for a baby to do. How dare they be typical babies when we...their parents, have dressed them so fabulously. No, when dressed up, our children should know how to "work a camera", and give me an authentic Blue Steel pose a la Derek Zoolander.

Speaking of baby clothes, you don't see a lot of Spandex at your local Babies are Us store, I think this is tragic. Think about it. No really think about it, get a mental picture of a baby in a spandex suit...how adorable is that! The real genius of the Cute Zoot (that's what I'm tentatively calling this invention) is that it will stretch with your baby as they grow. Our suits will stretch your dollars (our tentative tag line). Jami and I have approximately 734lbs. of clothing that no longer fit our children. Many of these relics were worn only once, or not at all. If only they were made of spandex.

That's the other thing, when your kids are born everyone is so excited for you. Your friends and family are understandably caught up in the glorious moment with you, so they go out and buy all kinds of cute outfits. As such, there are a solid 8 weeks when if you wanted to, you wouldn't have to do laundry; your kids could quite literally wear something different everyday. However, the rate at which kids grow, is inversely proportionate to the amount of correctly sized clothes in their closet. Around week 9 you suddenly realize you have no clothes for your baby, and they spend the day wearing a diaper, a pair of socks, and one of your old T-shirts fitted on them with Duct Tape. Newborns grow quickly. One morning around week 3 I put Emerson in a onsie, by bedtime he had outgrown it. He looked like Lou Ferrigno portraying the Bruce Banner to Incredible Hulk transformation and busting the seams of his clothing. Now that I think of it, perhaps Bruce Banner/ Hulk would have benefited from a spandex Cute Zoot...I think another market just opened up for my new venture.

Well I'm off to Jo-Ann Fabrics to buy a palette of spandex and a sewing machine. I wonder if I can find a spit-up repellent Scotch Guard-type spray for my Cute Zoots? Until next time.